Dating Apps

When venturing into the world of online dating, the opening line is your hook; it can reel in a potential match or send them swimming away. While the internet is awash with advice on what to say, not all conversation starters are created equal. Some, despite their popularity, are almost guaranteed to flop. Let’s dive into the ones you should avoid to keep your dating game afloat.

The Generic Greeting Trap

Generic greetings are the comfort food of conversation starters: easy, but ultimately unsatisfying.

  • “Hey, what’s up?”: This is the online equivalent of passing someone on the street and nodding. It’s not memorable.
  • “Hi there!”: It’s polite but lacks the personal touch that makes someone want to respond.

The Infamous “Copy and Paste”

Mass messaging is a no-go. Here’s why these fail:

  • The Novel: Long, pre-written messages that don’t engage with the other person’s profile are often too heavy for a first message.
  • The List: Sending a bullet-point list of questions can feel more like an interview than a conversation.

The Overused One-Liners

Some one-liners have been recycled to the point of extinction.

  • “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”: This line is as old as time and twice as dusty.
  • “You owe me a drink, because when I looked at your profile, I dropped mine.”: It’s trying too hard to be clever.

The Deep End Dive

Getting too deep, too fast is a common misstep:

  • Philosophical Questions: Asking about someone’s life philosophy can be too intense for an initial message.
  • Existential Musings: Pondering the meaning of life is a bit much when you’re just trying to break the ice.

The Negative Nancy

Starting on a negative note is unlikely to endear you to anyone:

  • Complaints About Online Dating: Bonding over online dating woes can be relatable, but it’s not a strong foundation for a potential relationship.
  • Pessimistic Comments: Saying things like “I never get replies on here, but…” sets a defeatist tone.

What Works Instead?

So, what should you do to start a conversation online? Here are some tried-and-true tips:

  • Personalize Your Message: Reference something from their profile that caught your eye.
  • Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
  • Be Positive: Keep the tone of your message upbeat and optimistic.
  • Be Yourself: Authenticity goes a long way in making a genuine connection.


In the digital dating world, the right conversation starter can open the door to a meaningful connection, while the wrong one can close it just as quickly. By avoiding these clich├ęd, overused, and impersonal conversation starters, you can increase your chances of getting a reply and maybe even finding that special someone. Remember, the goal is to stand out for the right reasons, so keep it personal, positive, and genuine.

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